Sirens and Floodlights

4:45 am this morning, I hear "Shan! Wake up!!!" I'm all... "Wha.....?" He says "LOOK!"

I look around and all I see is bright, glaring flood lights. However, the window that's to the north in my room is still pitch black. I'm thinkin' "What the hell?!"

So, I put some jeans on and head downstairs. The only thought on my mind is Juanita that lives in the house next door to the south of us. I'm thinking that there has been a fire, and Juanita is in trouble.

I get out there, and there are 5 full size fire trucks, two smaller fire trucks, 2 Fire Dept. SUV's, and 4 cop cars. Flood lights are set up, the whole damn block is looking like daylight.

Yet, I don't see a fire, or even smoke for that matter.

So, there's a firefighter standing right in front of my driveway...I said "Hey...what's going on?" He looks at me, up and then down. Takes a second and says "There's a fire." I said "Where?" He points to the house across the street.

Now, I am quite aware that I am not exactly Martha Perfect at 4:45am. But, for crying out loud, it's not like I have a second human growing from my temple. There's no need to be short.

So, he goes on with his unrolling of the hoses, and the unpacking of all the gear.

Juanita comes out to talk with Jas and I, asking what's going on. So, I stand there and talk with her for a while. We're all a little perplexed because while we see firemen crawling all over this house, we've yet to see even a little bit of smoke, fire or even a spark.

Then, this guy who I swear to God resembles a blonde carrot top comes skipping across the road. The following is an exerp from that conversation:

Dude: I thought I'd come hang out with you guys, maaaan. They're givin' me some funny looks over there man, like it's all my fault.

Me: Is that your house?

Dude: Yeah dude! I was like hungry, so I put a pizza in the oven at like one dude. Then the next thing I knew there were all these like firefighters standing over me going "You gotta get up man, your fuckin' house is on fire dude!"

Me: (trying everything in my power to not laugh, laugh laugh) Huh. So, you left your pizza in the oven and fell asleep?

Dude: Uh-Huh...I was like SO hungry too, dude.

(during this sentence, you see a black disk come flying out of the window of the upstairs apartment and make a thud on the ground)

Me: (losing my composure) Heh...that your pizza?

Dude: Fuck man...I have a bench warrant out for my arrest too, man. I was like "Dude...you can't take me to jail. My boss will kick my ass!" So, I don't even know if I'm going to have to go to jail tonight...

Me: Well...with those four cop cars, I'm betting they're not going to let it slide after your costing the tax payers about 15 grand tonight in resources...

Dude: Aw shit man, I know that guy...I gotta go. (and off he runs to see the fire chief who's standing in front of his house with his hands on his hips.)

I'm SO sorry for not getting pictures of this. Had I been thinking...MAN i should have gotten pictures. This was an a-1 blogging opportunity, and I BLEW it!

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