I'm Schmoopy.

Tonight, I started bawling. I don't know WHY I started bawling...I just did. Well...wait. Let me walk you through the events of what preceded my little sobbing fit...

About two weeks ago, three customers sat at the corner of the bar. The three of them started piling a bunch of ones on the bar for my tip. I didn't take them right away because, I didn't know if that's what they were really intended for. Anyways, when they got up to leave, I turned my back for just a second (saw that the money was still there), and out of the corner of my saw Danny, an older regular scoop them all up and put them in front of him. I walked over to him and said "What did they do, take all my tips with them?" He handed me three dollars (out of like 15) and said, "Nope, here they are sweetie."

The fucker took my tips. Fine. Not a big deal, I mean it is a big deal because that's sort of the point of me being there, but 15 bucks isn't worth me knocking his ass out, if you know what I mean. I made a mental note to not be nearly as nice to him, to stick my finger in his drinks before I give them to him, and that if I should happen to sneeze as I'm getting him a drink...so be it. No need to wash my hands before serving him. Right?

Ok. Tonight, a customer requested that I sing the song "When I Think About Cheating" by Gretchen Wilson. So, the song comes on, I've got the microphone behind the bar. I start singing it, when Danny walks in. Another regular, a woman who I've actually grown quite fond of, is usually really nice and whom I respect as a person (albeit an alcoholic person) screams "Shannon! Danny needs a beer down here." I said "I'll be right there." between lyrics.

I continued to sing the song, and after I was done walked over to get him a beer. The owner's son was there, he got him a beer...all should have been fine, right? Yeah, it wasn't.

The nice woman, the one I like? Fuckin' freaked out. "You don't have ANY idea what you just did. You're a bartender first, you sing second. You don't tell me just a fuckin' second!"

Instead of ripping her into a new one like I'd normally do, I said "Alright" and walked away from her. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?! I take pride in the fact that I couldn't give a shit less about what people think of me! I walked away with my tail between my legs, tears sprang to my eyes, I went into the kitchen and started bawling my little head off.

Then, when Chris, the owner got there, I told her about it and started bawling again! I NEVER cry. I don't know what came over me tonight.

On top of it all, today was my husband's birthday. I bought him a present, but I was thinking today was Wednesday, not Thursday, and had planned to put it out with his card now (my days are fubar'd because of the hours I work) for this morning. I get to work, look at the date when I checked someone's ID and SONOFABITCH, I let him go all day long without so much as saying Happy Birthday or anything.

I'm like the worst wife ever.

And I still feel like shit!

Cest' la vie right?

sdk