I should be exhausted.

But, I'm not. Nope. Not even a little. It's 4:16 a.m. and here I am, fixin' to entertain you. Cause, I'm that girl.

Some bar fodder? Oh, why not? I've not given you any good bits from the bar in a little while, I might as well share...

First, my friend John calls me this morning. He says "Shan...did you tell Scott where I live?" I had to think a second. First, who the fffff...hell is Scott. Then, I picture the WAY too often, WAY drunk guy who's in his mid to late forties that tries to convince himself (as well as the rest of the patrons) that he just turned 21 with his excellent use of ebonics. Yeah, I know who he is. Next, did I tell him where John lives..."Hell no! John, unless I have called and verified it's cool with you to give out your info...I'm not giving it up. Why?" He tells me that at 3am on Thursday morning, there's a pound at his door. He gets up from a decently good sleep to find Scott, a guy he has met all of once at the bar at his door.

Let me share John with you now. John is your all around bad boy. I mean, he looks the part, anyway. 6'6", shoulder length soft, dark brown hair. Full goatee. Tatoos practically covering his arms, one on his neck, a few scattered on his back. Others are rumored. Gruff voice. Owns a Harley. Entirely too sexy for his own good. Sweet as a school girl. I'm sure if you pissed him off, it wouldn't be pretty, but for the most part, I've seen him talk people out of fighting at the bar, I've seen him buff a few people out...and that night that I got slugged by drunk vampirish girl...John's the one who put her in a bear hug and carted her off to her car. He's a good guy. But, I imagine that seeing someone at your door that you don't know, who's drunk out of their goard at 3 am is enough to try anyone's patience.

Ok. So, I tell John that I didn't...he says that the guy pounded on his door, and when he answered it, Scott just stood there. He said "Hi." That's it. Hi, and stood there. John is just staring at him. Finally, John says "Dude...what the hell do you want?" He continues to stand there staring at John. John says "Get the fuck out of here. Are you nuts? It's 3am, people are sleeping. I have to be at work in 3 hours. Go away." and slammed the door in his face.

Ok. Now, fast forward to tonight. I see Scott come in the bar. Of course I don't say anything to him about what John said. You don't share that you're friends with people outside of the bar because that just opens you up to all sorts of rumors that you don't want flying around a bar with a freshman mentality. So, I just smiled inside, and served him up. Scott gets increasingly drunk as the end of the night draws near.

At 2am, I went to him and said "Scott, do you need me to call you a cab or something? How are you getting home?" He says he's got it worked out.

By worked out, he meant that he was planning on "gettin' some" from one of the chicks in the bar. Problem is, the only chicks in the bar left at that point were Casey...who'd eat him for breakfast, Meghan, who's dating Lex, Chris: who owns the bar, and me: and that's a big fat negative.

2:30 comes and I start pulling drinks out of people's hands. I've already asked them to leave at this point, and have warned them to drink up or I'm taking them. I hear Scott trying to get with Casey. Casey not-so-gently tells him where he can go, so over to me he comes. He already knows that a snowball would have a better chance in hell. Why does he know this? Because I've already explained it to him on our first meeting over a month ago now. He says "Baby...I could make you mine right now if I really wanted to."

I reply "Scott...how are you getting home again? You need to be out of the bar in 2 minutes. You can't stay here." He ignores me and is now trying to pull my diamond off my finger. I gently explain that if he touches me again, we're going to get the answer to the age old question of what a stick really looks like up someone's ass. Finally, I get him out of the bar.

But, BUT...now he's expecting Chris the owner to take him home. We've got shit to do. The Halloween party is Saturday night and we're still preparing for it. We had planned to stay until 4-5ish to get stuff done so that we're not slammed with it tomorrow, when Friday is usually our busiest night.

The entire time his drunk ass was outside I could hear him screaming, calling Chris and I names, pounding on the door, saying how mean we are because we won't let him in to use the phone, right? LOL We OFFERED him the phone while he was still in the bar. Not once, but three times. I offered it, Chris offered it, and then I offered it again.

Finally on time 7 or 8 of him slamming himself against the door to the bar, Chris LOST it. She went flying to the door and opened it and said "Look you drunk fucker!" LOL She told him to calm the hell down and that she'd drive him home.

Finally we wrap stuff up so we can leave and I went with her to take him home. She went OFF. She sat there absolutely screaming at him. By the end of the conversation, she barred him from the bar for 30 days. If he shows up I'm not to serve him.

That's just funny to me!

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