Sadistic Things That Entertain Me

Oh there's such a big list, where-oh-where do I begin?

We can start with my grandmother's inability to function any computer system that was produced after 1983. I enjoy this because of her inability, she thinks me useful. I find that Grandma and I...we really don't have much in common anymore. Oh, I'm always willing to listen to how her wataerobics class went, it's not that. But, as far as being able to be out and helping her with the antique shop, I don't have as much time as I once did now, and unless she needs something, we don't talk that much anymore. Everytimes she sees a news article or one of the news stations run a story on something I've done, she gets all excited and calls all of her friends. This is cool...but how do you talk crime and punishment with someone who genuinely believes that we should still "just hang those sumbitches"? So, it is for this reason that I'm glad that Grandma wants to run an e-commerce site. It makes me useful to her, makes me feel needed, and keeps up that bond that we share.

My next sadistic pleasure is that I so enjoy doing evil things to the neighbor cat. It's a big, gray massive animal, that derives it's own pleasure from torturing Lily, who stays in our yard, doesn't get into any trouble, and rarely leaves the porch. Yesterday, I caught the little bastard trapping her in a corner. It's not like he's quiet about it either. He's all "Mmrrrrooooooooow" as he's doing it. So, I got the biggest pan I could find (you know the ones you boil corn on the cob in?) and I filled it all the way up. Then, I snuck out the back door, as quietly as my little hobble would allow. I got right behind him, all stealthy like, and then I nailed his little ass. He's been back twice more for the same treatment...

Those will have to do for tonight. I'm going to do what all bad parents do...I'm going to attempt to cut my 6 year old's hair...myself. With Scissors. Heh heh heh....

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