Catch-Up!

Hi Everyone! I am so behind in my blogging and computer world...it's not even a little funny.

So much to update on. Where to begin seems to be the question!

Today was my first complete day off since I started working at the bar. And boy, did I need it. Yesterday I was supposed to be off, but at 6:30 she calls and says in her most pleading, whiny voice..."I don't feel good, or I would work. Could you maybe, pretty please come in?" I said, "When do you need me there by?" She says "Is 7pm to soon?" HA. Yeah it was too soon. I was wearing leggings and a huge sweatshirt, hadn't bothered to do anything with my hair or face after getting out of the shower, so it was still in a wet pile on top fo my head, and 50 percent of my day was spent on me shamelessly wasting away in the recliner. I told her I'd be there by 8:30. So...I got out at 4am on Tuesday morning.

Mr. DK found a job. I think he starts Thursday. Tomorrow morning he has to go in for a pre-hire drug test, but since we're not really druggies...that shouldn't be an issue. (If it is an issue...you'll be seeing a follow up divorce post in a few days after the results come in!) I have no idea what he's going to be doing, but I do know that the company he's working for manufactures and installs home siding. Whatever. I'll live with it. I'm a happy camper so long as I don't have to bear the entire burden of bringing home the bacon.

Speaking of bacon...I've found a new place for my extra tips to go. Believe it or not, I've made a very decent amount of money the last week. If I continue my progression into the badass bartender I know I can be (think Coyote Ugly again...lol), I shouldn't have a problem bringing home 5-600 bucks a week. I think so far I'm at like 450 and I've still got another night to go, one that is generally busy with pool leagues and karaoke geeks. LOVE those karaoke geeks, man. I mean, I used to be a karaoke geek...but I didn't know that it was part of the trend to order 6-8 dollar per glass drinks and tip the hell out of your bartender. This is a happy, happy deal.

Anyway...where the bacon's going. One of my regulars (notice how they're now MY regulars, not the bar's regulars. I've earned the right to call them MY regulars because she works me to damn much!) owns the pet store where I buy all of Murphy, Lily and Hagrid's food, toys and treats. We got to talking about birds one night, and I told her about Toby, my deceased Cockatiel who was the love of my animal life for 12 years until he finally gave in to old age. Anyways, she tells me that she's got a Military Macaw that's been in her store for 3 years. She needs to sell him to a home, but he's a VERY expensive bird (1400 bucks in my world is expensive) and she's having trouble finding a buyer. But...to get other birds in, she's got to sell him. He beats up on the other birds. He needs someone to work with him regularly, but...she's willing to pay me for working in her store on my off hours per week by giving me 10 bucks an hour towards the bird. Basically, she gave me 14 weeks to work him off. Then, he comes home with me.

In the past week, since I went down and met him, he is literally all I think about. His name is Rio. He's 3 and a half years old. He's stolen my heart (and a few buttons and earrings). The first day, he bit me. I don't know if you've ever spent any quality time with a Macaw, but they are not little birds. Look at your index finger. From top to bottom. That is the size of Rio's beak. He is a big, big boy. When he bites, he's not kidding. They've been known to break fingers, grind bone and to not feel a bit sorry about it.

Day two went a bit smoother. He was doing "step-up" commands for me. Day three, he was preening my hair. Day four he wasn't even trying to nip me, and today...today was the best of all days.

Today I went in, walked to his cage and he says "Hey Mama!" I said "Hi Rio! Have you been a good boy?!" (all in baby talk. He LOVES baby talk. So much so that he blushes and his cheeks turn bright red when you baby talk to him.) He nods his head, comes right out and hops onto my arm. I took him in the back today for some one on one time. He's got a cell-mate that is named Ruby. She's a green-winged Macaw. And, she's the daughter of Satan, I swear to you. She'll lure you over with sweet talk, hold out her paw for you to shake and then take a massive chunk out of your hand. This hasn't happened to me, but I watched it happen to an unsuspecting customer. She won't be finding a home soon unless she learns to curb that nasty attitude.

Anyways...we were in the back room and I read in this book I bought that the way to approach petting your Macaw is to gently blow their feathers up. It stimulates the shaft of the feather and feels good. So, I did this. Rio out of the blue says "Whoooooa Baby!" LOL

When I went to put him in his cage, I decided to try a game the book suggested. Peek-a-Rio. I hid my face behind his food service door, and said "Where's Rio? Where's my Rio?" Just as I was about to say it for the third time, he swung his head down by the door and said "Here's Ri-Ri!" LOL

I came home and told Mr. DK that I am officially having an affair with another male. I freakin' LOVE that bird. So, basically, what I'm going to try to do is to keep my tips, and apply them to him, so as to not have to work so much, and to leave me available to actually go down there and play with him and work with him, instead of working around him and becoming just another staff member that he can take advantage of.

Well...now I have to go catch up on all of your blogs. I am hopelessly behind!

I miss you guys!

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