I'm losing my own bet...

For those who are new here, my sister called a few weeks back and announced she was gay. I've been pretty busy lately, and really haven't had the time (or the memory to remember) to continue with the countdown. I didn't think it'd last more than 2 weeks. My sister has been blowing up my phone for the past several days and I've delightfully been avoiding her like the plague (not because she's gay, because she's stupid). She finally nailed me on the phone a bit ago. I'd like to share that conversation.

Amanda: It's about time you answer your damn phone.

Me: Oh. (mutter under my breath damnit) Hey. You still gay?

Amanda: Now, why would you ask me that? Isn't that a little rude?

Me: Uh huh. So...are you?

Amanda: Why do you want to know?

Me: We're doing a countdown on my blog. Some are even wagering bets how long you stay gay.

Amanda: WHAT?! Why would you do that? You are such a bitch.

Me: Look...I enjoy entertainment, and you can't just call me and tell me you're gay after sleeping with half of the continent's men and not have me find that entertaining. If you don't want people to know, don't tell anyone. Go back to your closet. So, are you or not? My readers need to know.

Amanda: God you suck. It's more of a bi-sexual thing. I'm not really gay. I mean, I'm still sleeping with Joe too.

Me: Oh. Well, that's comforting. I'm sure Hilary enjoys the double dipping.

Amanda: Hilary is a cool person. You wouldn't understand.

Me: Oh? Why is that?

Amanda: Because you are narrow minded. You think that gay people are bad.

Me: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. That's not IT, Amanda. I don't think GAY people are bad. I think YOU are bad. I think that you are so confused as to what you really want, you have no idea which way to turn. You're going to end up hurting that girl, and that's not really fair. The way I see it, you're using her to get by whatever it is that's all screwed up in your life right now.

Amanda: I'm bad? You think I'M bad?

Me: Yep. You're going to end up with therapy bills so high for you AND your children that your KIDS are going to have to remortgage their homes.

Amanda: I hate you.

Me: Really? I love you. And, it's further entertaining to irritate you. This is fun.

Amanda: I don't know how much longer I'm going to be with her anyway.

Me: Oh? Reeeeaaaaally? (heh heh) Why not?

Amanda: She's clingy. She can't handle it when I want to leave the house.

Me: Huh. Is it that, or is she tired of being your built in babysitter so you can go screw Joe on the side?

Amanda: She's great with the kids.

Me: Yeah, I'd be careful with that. I wouldn't push the kids off on her all the time. That may have something to do with why she's balking at you leaving.

Amanda (suddenly enraged): I hate you. All you ever do is bitch at me.

Me: Uh huh. And all YOU ever do is call me when you think I outta be paying attention to you. You don't take into account how I feel at all. So...blow me.

Amanda: What's going on with you?

Me: Oh. How kind of you to ask.

Amanda: I have to have a hysterectomy. It's worse than yours.

Me: Really? I have cancer...how much worse can it get?

Amanda: Oh. I forgot you have cancer.

Me: Interestingly enough, that doesn't surprise me.

Amanda: It's always all about you, you, you.

Me: Oh...look at that my phone's going dead.

Amanda: Fine. I'll call you later.

Me: I'll call you when I have time to deal with your shit. That won't be this week. Probably not next week either.

Amanda: Love you.

Me: You too.