I am a Cheating Whore.

Hello, my name is Shannon, and I am a literary cheater. (Collective "Hi Shannon" with understanding nods comes in from the crowd.)

I did it. I cheated on Frodo with Sandford. I'm just not a strong charactered person. It's true. Last night, I was lying there reading, trying my damndest to stay awake so that I could get up and get Alex on the bus at 6, and Two Towers was boring the shit out of me. I kept glancing at the perfect series, neat and in order in all of it's used glory on my bookshelf at the end of my bed. Mentally, I'd chew myself out, and go back to reading about Frodo's trek to Mordor. Then, I'd start nodding off again, and snap myself out of it, and glance at the series again. So, I got up, you know...just for the sake of looking to see which ones I'd already read. I had read the first 3 of the series, the 5th, and the 6th. The 4th had the return serial killer, Michael Bekker from the 3rd. Bekker's a sonofabitch. But, and here's where I started to falter...he is an interesting sonofabitch. Indeed, a good fast paced maniacal killer will keep me awake! So, there I sat, justifying in my pathetic mind why it was ok to put Tolkien down and pick up a Prey novel by John Sandford. Sandford and I have HISTORY. I owe Tolkien nothing. Nothing! I made the weak knee'd decision to put Frodo down and leave him for when I was reading to try to sleep, instead of when I was reading to try to stay awake. I suck. Yeah, yeah. I know, I suck. Thanks for driving the point home.

So...you want to freak out a gas station attendant? Walk in with a huge macaw on your arm, and then have him alarm cry at the tip top of his lungs to let you know that she's there in front of you -- all before she's had the chance to look up and notice that you have a mammoth bird on your arm. Great fun, I tell ya. I probably wouldn't do this to anyone who looks over 50. With the reaction from the under 25 crowd, I'm thinking the over 50 crowd may want to have some angina medication on hand...just in case.

American Idol put on a decent show tonight. I'm an addicted junkie. It's true. People at the bar know pretty much to get their drinks during commercial on Wednesday night during the elimination show.

Here's my picks for the top 4...

I think that Chris Daughtry will probably end up at 1 or 2 spot. The trouble with him is that I think he's getting cocky. The good thing about him is that he brings originality to the cast, and he's his own person. I dig him, and I'll likely dig whatever he puts out after the show is over and he's got a contract in hand.

Katherine McPhee is an obvious choice for the top 1/2 spots. Either or, she'll end up with a fabulous career that I look forward to following in the future. She's got both the screen and the stage mastered, now if we could only teach the poor dear how to dress...

Mandisa....that chick can WAIL. I know that she's not all teensy tiny like everyone likes to see, but was Aretha ever built like a Barbie doll? I think not. She'll be in the 3rd spot.

And, Kelly Pickler, because lets face it...she's just too damn cute to pass up. Mynx: LMAO...she thought a Mynx was a fur coat!

Who I hate? Chicken Little...er....that Kevin kid. He's just effin' irritating to me. I can't stand his little ass, and Ace Young. Ace is a spitting image of what my 6 year old's biological father looks like, and well...I didn't like him much either.

Off to shamelessly read Sandford...

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