Ow. Ow. Ouch. OUCH. OWWWCH. BLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHH!

The title of this post is what I awoke to hearing this afternoon about an hour after I laid down to take a "cat-nap". I thought one of my children had injured themselves and was dying.

Nope...not it.

It was Rio. Apparently, Rio has bitten someone at some point (or at least I am surmising this to be true) and they tried to be calm and collected about the pain that he was inflicting, but as it increased, so did their volume until finally they screamed like a little girl who had just lost her lollipop.

He did this little phrase about 30 times before he finally started what I like to call his "Mu-Ha-Ha" laugh. "Mu-Ha-Ha" is short for "Evil, Spawn of Satan, I've just done something really bad and you're about to enjoy the reward of my deed". Yes, indeed, I have seen that side of him.

But, for the most part, he was in a jovial mood all afternoon. I awoke this morning to him standing on my chest, working on that little stain (teensy mole) on my cheek. Jas must've gotten tired of him calling for me and finally brought him upstairs and delivered him to my bed. Next to my pillow I found a small pile of almonds still in the shell to occupy him that Jas must've put there for him. He's such a good boy that he even took them to the side of my bed to eat them, as all the discarded shell casings and the brown little "skin" that goes on the outside of the almond were in a neat pile on the floor next to my bed.

Today was my youngest child, Logan's birthin' day today. He's officially been breathing oxygen for one full year. Some of his other feats include: pulling himself up and cruising between furniture and toys, saying "Mama!", "Dada", Ala (which is not our God, but our 6 year old, Alex) and "No!", he's licked that whole binky habit (we're anti-binky...there's nothing more irritating to me than to see a 3 or 4 year old child with a damn pacifier in his/her mouth...I just want to smack those parents...), he's on to sippy cups, and he's graduated to actually leaving his clothes ON his body for longer periods than an hour! (I thought for sure I had birthed a Chipendale there for a while...)

We did the whole cake and ice cream thing...took video. Good time. Sam, our 3 year old actually made comment on how messy his baby brother was. "Maaaan! Mom! You should teach that kid how to eat. It's in his hair, and I just KNOW that stuff isn't good for hair." My 3 year old is a bit of a smart ass. Not at ALL sure where he got THAT from...


What else? Oh...at the end of this post, you will find a bunch of answers to questions that have recently been asked of me. If you have no idea what they go to or why I'm writing them...then never-you-mind. LOL...The person they are intended to go to knows exactly who they are.

Ohhh...I know what I was going to say before I get to that. I'm PISSED. Why am I pissed, you ask? Well, because I'm a spoiled little brat. That's why I'm pissed. About a month ago, I bought a lot of 18 books by John Sandford on e-bay. It literally felt like it was taking forever and a day for them to arrive, right? So, I start reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy, thinking that would speed the wait time up, make it go faster...you know the drill. Well, today, my books arrive, and here I am, and I'm only 3/4 of the way through the second book in the trilogy. This makes me mad! I WANT to read the new books. But, I'm morally obligated to finish the trilogy that I started before the new books got here. Otherwise, in the strange little world of me, that's cheating. Cheating, I say! And, we can't very well have that. I'd feel guilty the entire time I was reading the new books. Damn you Frodo. DAMN YOU!

Ok. SO. That's that. I won't even give you a bunch of bullshit excuses for why I haven't written for so long. You know why I haven't written for so long. Because I had other stuff to do. I get to it as soon as I can, and you, loyal readers know that. Thanks for stickin' with me...


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Answers...

I don't know why. But, I do too. Frequently, in fact. You are making a mistake in thinking that it was your fault. It wasn't your fault at all, but instead just the way the cards fell. I can't justify it anymore than I can sit here and tell you that all that was there is gone. I'm no good at justifying something I know in my heart and my mind will never, ever make sense to me. I quit trying and just accept that you are who you are, I am who I am, and that together we're always going to be that person for each other. You do that for the same reasons I do. Because you know that I'll get it, I know you'll get it, and it's all we have left. Sad, but it is. We're not strong enough to be around each other or speak to each other, so we do this instead. I don't think it hurts less, or anything like that, but it just lets each other know that we're still there, and really, still there as much as we can be for each other. Everything we did, except for the last thing was right. Why? I don't know. Because we ARE that for each other. Right. If you were the only one, we wouldn't still be having the same thoughts and feelings on the 6th year. You are not the only one, you never have been and you never will be. You know why I've never come. And you know why I can't now. You absolutely do. Every day, in fact. The picture was perfect. PERFECT. What WAS I thinking? Enough would imply that the distance that's been put between us is over. So, no. Not enough. But I do, as much today as ever. You're no fool. You're anything but. I would have to say that you are the most intelligent person I've ever known, but a fool? No. Crazy or Pathetic? Crazy...well, maybe a little. But, if you weren't, you would've never been attracted to me. Talk about insanity...and ABSOLUTELY NOT on the next. Can I be greedy and choose both? Why not get everyone and GO to Vegas? I'm sorry, but I can't answer that today. You're the only one who's ever gotten that answer. It's never been just you. I've always been there 50% in this with you. Rules suck. That's just the way it is. It's a rule in fact... and Dear Lord, I hope not. I look forward to the day I get to see your face and hear your laugh and just be in the same room with you again. I hope this isn't the way it will always be.

That's what I'd say if we were on speaking terms. Thanks on the birthin' day. He's cute as hell!