I hate moving.

This is NOT us.









I hate moving. In every sense of the word. But, thankfully, we've moved out of the african-american 'hood, where they use guns (without the slightest apprehension). Instead, now we live in what I think I'll be calling the Honky-Hood.

This Guy (pay particular attention to the list of tattoo's on the rap sheet) is my new neighbor, and BOY do I wish I were kidding. So...we moved in on Saturday (or at least that's the first night we spent here). On Sunday morning, I am outside picking up an assload of glass that wasn't here when we looked at the place. This Guy is sitting on his front porch (it's a duplex) and says to one of the 5 kids that are out there with him to come help me.

Later that afternoon, my neice comes in and says "Hey...you better watch it when you guys are bringing loads up the driveway...there's glass freakin' everywhere." I said "No, I just picked it all up." She says, "Uh, I don't think you did...go look."

So, I go out and look and This Crazy Bastard has busted out each and every window, from the inside, mind you, all along their side of the house. I stood there talking to my neice about it about whether or not we should call the police and pick it up, just pick it up, call the landlord and have him call the police and have him pick it up or what. This is when This Crazy Bastard's fucked up, crack whore of a girlfriend whips the door open and says "Don't you fucken' TOUCH that glass. The landlord will be here Monday morning and then I'll tell HIM what the mother-fucker did to me." She was GORGEOUS. Two black eyes, hair in what I can only think to call un-intentional dreadlocks, and winning smile.

I said "You haven't called him yet?" She bares her tooth at me. "No, Beeeyaaaatch. I haven't."

My new phone hadn't been hooked up yet, so I hauled my cookies down to the gas station on the corner and used the payphone to get ahold of our landlord, and instead got Andy, his son. I said "Hey Andy, uh, you guys may want to come over. The neighbors are busting out the windows in the house." He says "Are you kidding? Which side?" I said..."Does it matter?! How bout you GET here and we'll talk details then. Mmmk Pumpkin?"

Always nice to meet your new neighbors.

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